The Least Unbiased Review Ever

So Eclipse was....RADTASTIC.

Of course!

(I mean, comeon. Like I was gonna hate it, right?)

While the "co-dependent damsel in need of rescue" drives me batty...

and I admit to knowing the franchise's shortcomings, its occasional cheesiness, and its incongruities and predictability...

I still love it nonetheless.

Whatever. 

You're not surprised.

Moving on.

Succinct Review

Movie was good. I think best of the three so far. But the book was better. Pick up a book and READ people. It's fundamental. And impossible to compress 600 pages of entertainment into 120 minutes justly.

Superlative Review

All the wigs were so obvious. Bella's, Alice's, Jasper's...But hey - I can get past that. I wasn't there for the hairdos.

Finally KStew and RPatz had some real chemistry on screen...not just 2 second, I'm gonna tear your head off, this hurts me kissing. Up until now, I felt like the movies just told you of Edward and Bella's attraction for each other, but the characters didn't really show it. If you read the books, it was much easier to buy into the love story. If not....I don't know if you'd feel it. This time however, Edward and Bella seem more comfortable and affectionate with one another. 

I've never been Team Jacob, but he put up a good fight. Lautner was spot on in the "tent scene." His comments made me laugh. And I think the movie did a good job showing that although Bella knows she's in love with Edward, she's still torn by her strong feelings for Jake. Only part I couldn't take seriously was when he tries to leave right after learning Bella had accepted Edward's marriage proposal. Bella shouts after him, "Jacob! STAY!" and he does. Hello people, he IS a dog, right?! It was just too funny. But I don't think it was meant to be.

Movies are never as good at the book - but at least it followed the storyline pretty closely. I mean there were several EXACT QUOTES from the book in the dialogue. I've heard Meyer rules the screenwriting with an iron fist and has demanded the same faithful writer for all three movies. The ending however, left out the part where Jacob compares himself to Solomon and commits to stop "tearing Bella in two" by leaving town. I imagine since Breaking Dawn is being made into TWO movies (ugh!) that will be how #1 begins...in November 20ELEVEN. Freakin'-A.

Again, If you hadn't read the book, I think you'd be a bit lost when the movie goes into describing Jasper and Rosalie's pasts. It was decently done, but just quick. Those two back stories are a huge part of the book and explaining Jasper and Rosalie's roles in Bella's life and transformation.

Eclipse was definitely the "darkest" of the three so far. It opens in the black of night, pouring rain, with Riley being freakishly pursued and bitten, left to writhe in screaming pain. The chase/fight scenes were good. But considering all the Newborns being made, there was surprisingly little blood. And that's fine by me! I envisioned the fight between Edward, Victoria and Riley to be much more gruesome than the movie showed. But perhaps that's what help keep the PG-13 rating.

One of my favorite scenes was the "sex talk" exchange between Bella and Charlie. She keeps trying to change the subject, he keeps pressing forward even tho he can't quite get the words out. It all ends with her shrieking "I'm a virgin!" and running up the stairs to her room. Charlie's comment after she retreats is classic DAD. Billy Burke is one of my favorite actors in the cast.

Speaking of Dads, Matt ended up going with me, cause Kim had too much work. Poor guy, I don't think he quite knew what he was getting himself into. There were people in costumes, women in line with their life size cardboard cutouts of Edward and Jacob, whole groups of orgasming/cheering/whooting girls when Edward and Jacob first came on screen. Cuh-raaaazy!

Mateo was such a good sport tho. He even said the movie was entertaining. (He also said the next movie we're seeing is A-Team!) Which is apropos. I have a feeling there will be a bit of role reversal.  He'll love it dispite it's similarly strained logic, paint-by-number caricatures and predictable climactic final battle. He can side with BA Baracas I'll keep Edward Cullen all for myself. And we can both continue going to movies together. Regardless...between taking me to Miley last week, and then enduring the Nordstom Eclipse event last night, I think he's pretty much earned a free pass for the rest of the Summer!

(us at Miley)