I've had two weeks to be resolute since my last Leaf Turning post. And I've been quite good! I made a Tofu Stir Fry recipe that Matt and I enjoyed...not so much a hit with the kids, but that's okay. I've been wearing skirts more often than I haven't. And I've become a bit obsessive in the health department - tracking calories and working out sometimes twice a day. I'm happy to report I've lost 10 lbs! (And now that I've shared that glorious little bit of information with all the world wide web, I must never gain it back!)
Surprisingly, it has seemed that the more I've added to my plate, the more I've been able to accomplish! I definitely think eating better, eating less, and working out more has given me a boost. I've been doing a lot of incline walking and running on our treadmill and some running with the kids in the jogger.
Let me just say, pushing 100 lbs uphill is freaking HARD! Today I felt muscles that haven't been sore in years. Forgot I even had them. And that was motivating. About half way up Dover - a big hill by the girls' school - I started talking out loud to myself.
"One foot in front of the other"... "Think July and little brown dress"..."Think 10 year anniversary and weekend away"..."Think pre-baby body"...
Wyatt must have been able to feel my pain because all of a sudden he shouted out "Go Mom, Go!" I think I could've sprinted up the hill 3 more times! That was the best.
Maybe not so surprising however, is the fact that the more I have checked off my list - the more I have added to it's length. Kind of like when you get the carpets cleaned, you realize the sofa is horribly worn. And when a new sofa arrives, you realize the walls could use a new coat of paint. The more I tackle, the more I realize I want to fix...in my appearance that is.
Before kids, I spent countless amounts of money and time on me. ME! Facials, manicures, pedicures, teeth bleaching, electrolysis, bikini waxes, massages, spray tans, microdermabrasion, hair lightening, gym memberships, trainers, new clothes, shoes, and makeup. Oh, the MAKEUP! I may have had a slight obsession with MAC. As in the lady at the Nordstom counter and I - we were on a first name basis. Here's an old pic as evidence.
So you can imagine the list I've been able to create now that I've let myself have a little time and energy for myself. You can imagine the things I have let go. You can imagine how losing 10 lbs has somewhat created a monster. How losing 10 lbs has been a catalyst for wanting to tweeze and tan and bleach and wax and primp.
But my reality is still my reality. A 30-something, stay at home, mom of 3, who runs a daycare REALITY. So primping is quite out of the question. Even if I had the money to indulge (which I seriously don't) I don't have the time!
This brings me to my final resolutions of 2009. My final Leaf Turning "A Ha!" in this self exploration I've been taking:
I resolve to be happy with what I have. I resolve to see and appreciate the blessings already in my life. I resolve to focus on my inner beauty more than my outer.
This morning as I was walking with the kids, (after tackling hill #2 at the Castaways) I looked out over the path and literally stopped in my tracks. It was 70 degrees. Bright, clear, gorgeous blue skies stretched on forever. My horizon was peppered with palm trees and ocean waves, sailboats and seagulls. The day ahead would hold lunch in the grass with my kids, a nap on the couch with a page turning book, welcome home kisses and the strong arms of my husband, and my bible study with 8 fabulous females. I was suddenly acutely aware of how good I have it! How much I fabulously love my life. Right then and there I thanked God for my happiness and asked him to help me remember how I felt in that moment.
Primping is not all it's cracked up to be anyhow. I can't ever remember a time when looking good - having every hair and nail and pound in place - made me feel the way my thankful heart made me feel this morning.
So while I am not giving up my list, I am definitely going to balance it with a heavy dose of reality. Because I've realized my reality rocks - whether or not my teeth are pearly white!