Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Birthday Letter to Myself

Dear Erin,

I'm here to enlighten you today, on your 33rd Birthday. Let you in on a few things I want you to know. Remember me? I am the one you hear, soft and slow, always there in the back of your mind when the rest of your world is spinning so fast. I am the one talking to you on those days you're so busy you forget to pee. On those days when you are sad, or overwhelmed, a little lost or just plain tired. On those days that seem to roll over the top of you and you wind up on the couch at 10PM on auto-pilot. That's right. That's me. I knew you could always hear me. You fight to get to where I am and though sometimes you get caught up in figuring IT all out, you never forget I am here.

You make me laugh. Always second guessing yourself. The way you try to juggle all those balls you have in the air, often biting off more than you can chew, and never saying "NO." You struggle with defining your purpose and often wonder about the path you walk. It's time you just settle in to NOT having all the answers, and NOT knowing where it's all going. It's time you take my hand and let me lead the way. Because I know that someone bigger is in control, and together we'll be just fine. I'm sure you'll still be a major pain in the rear sometimes, with how stubborn you can be and how you always think you can do it better. But we'll make it through.

When the going gets tough, I will just remind you how much I love you. I love your drive, your faith, your sense of humor in the face of chaos. I love how you continually re-focus your perspective and try to pay attention to the details. I love your lists - you may be a bit OCD, the way you write things down you've already completed...just to have the pleasure of crossing them off! But they do help you get things done, so I love them. I love your ability to make friends, your honesty, and your need to try new recipes. I love your green thumb and the way you devour books. I love your eyes, your skin that never burns but always tans, and your heart.

I want you to be your best, so there are a few things I'm going to help you work on. Like taking time for yourself, putting the laundry away the same day you fold it, and getting more sleep! 2AM is not a healthy bedtime. But most of all I want to help you remember to live your life as if only LOVE matters. Because I know if you do that, your incessant questions will be answered. Your purpose, your path...everything will fall into place.

You have so much in your life. Don't ever forget the love you were blessed with at a very young age. A love that has been so fun and easy. He's sweet and he's hardworking and he still makes you blush. Don't forget the love that nearly exploded out of your heart when you held your first child. And when #2 and #3 came along, remember how you thought there was no more room in your heart? Don't forget you learned how big your love can grow. Defining your purpose. Finding your path. Oh, you silly girl! You are smarter than that. You don’t need definition or direction, you just need to remember again and again, every single day, this LOVE.

Now, here is my promise to you;

If you take my hand and let me lead the way, forgetting all the other petty things that seem to cloud your mind and steal your energy, I will remind you every single day that you are good, beautiful, and worthy. I will remind you that doing your best is great! I will remind you of your blessings and help you focus on love. If you listen to me when I remind you of these things, I promise I will find you those wings so you can fly.

Happiest of Birthdays, my dear.
What a year this is going to be.

Love, Erin


LACY said...

Happy Birthday Erin!!

Ok I am dying, you went to hs with Bruces wife???! You've got to give me some more details. She is beautiful though. I just thought after I had Kenzie and lost all my baby weight I maybe had a chance with BW. :)

Jennifer said...

Beautiful letter Erin, and a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! I hope that you do something fabulous to celebrate because you deserve nothing but the BEST!

Tonya said...

Happy Birthday girlie! May you have a wonderful day...

Avery's mom said...

Wishing you a very happy birthday Erin!

Aubs said...

Erin...have i told you lately that i love you??? You are amazing and i am so blessed by you...have a wonderful day! I pray this is your best birthday yet!

ps....totally cracked up at the writing something on your list that has already been done so you can cross it off....that is soooo me!!! =)

LauraC said...

Happy birthday! And I love all the self-care you put in your letter to yourself! You are one AMAZING woman!!

Bert Bell said...

Dearest Daughter

I knew you before the foundations of the world were created. You were & still are my heart, my love, my fair one. I have hidden a love letter to you in My Word...the Song of Solomen. You are the shulamite, dark from sin, but quite lovely & fair in my eyes.
You have told yourself correctly in your birthday letter "to live your live as if only Love matters." Well put poetic scribe...to live as if only God matters, for I AM love.
Seek me first and all things will be given unto you. Seek me, take my hand & I will lead you into your purpose here on earth. Oh what things I desire to show you.
Many rich blessings be upon you oh fair one. Happy Birthday & blessings from Heaven....God via His servant

Wendy, Totally Desperate Mom said...

Have a wonderful birthday sister filled with... not chocolate.

~love said...

you certainly are good, beautiful and worthy!

wishing you a year of continued knowing that yes, love is all that matters.

happiest of birthdays, friend!

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