I am always hesitant to make New Year's Resolutions because I literally NEVER keep them. So now they carry with them a weight of impending failure. Before I begin, I feel like I've already fallen behind. I have weird #issues, but, as I
age mature, I've learned to just accept them and work WITH my quirks rather than fight against them.
In that fashion, I've been approaching my goals differently lately. Rather than set a date or finish line for myself, I've been doing my best to refocus my energy on the NOW. I still have end goals in terms of my weight, my book, what I feed my brain and mouth and heart...but they are no longer my motivation. They are just milestones I know I will eventually reach.
Those end goals, however are lofty and there is a heck of a whole lot I want to squeeze into and get out of 2017. In order to be successful, I've committed to keeping the following five sweeping "resolutions."
Start Where You Are
I am pretty much never going to be ready for anything. Matt likes to joke that on nights when we go out and I holler from our bathroom that "I'm ready, let's go!" he knows he has at least another five to ten minutes before I am truly ready. His reply has come to be, "Is your hand on the door?" No. No it is not. My hand is never on the door. There is always one more thing I can squeeze in, put in place, or perfect before I am ready. What I've come to understand, however, is that when I approach my goals with this mentality, I waste a monster amount of time, energy and head space on "getting ready." I need to use this for getting it DONE instead.
Start Where You Are.
For me, that means, making it to the gym even when I am uncomfortable in my workout wear.
Writing the blog post even if I don't have the perfect pictures.
Reading the book even if it doesn't fit a prompt.
Calling my sister even if I only have 2 minutes to talk.
Authoring 1000 words a day even if I delete them all in the end.
Going out with my husband just because and with no plan. OMG.
Enjoy the Journey
My love of Miley is no secret, so why has it taken me this long to figure out it's not about the destination, it's The Climb? It's true there is always gonna be another mountain. Life is a series of attempts and tries and then trying again. Even in success, there is so much more to be found, learned and appreciated in what got you there than the actual win. When I focus solely on the end goal, I easily get lost and discouraged. Finding joy and reward in the daily grind has made a huge difference in my energy and motivation to stay on track. Am I where I want to be? No. Is anyone? I imagine even when I get there, I will want to move again. Enjoying the journey helps me to stay focused on the moment.
Enjoy the Journey.
For me, that means, pushing myself physically and have it feel good rather than disappointing.
Being excited to try new foods rather than sorry I can't eat certain things I used to love.
Turning the music up real loud and singing along as I drive back and forth to kids sports and events.
Reading in the carpool line.
Appreciating all I have penned and allowing it to inspire me rather than contribute to my writer's block.
Turning another night at home into two steaks and a Redbox rather than me with a book and he with the remote.
Being happy with less. Inspired by the mundane. Fulfilled from within.
Celebrate Small Victories
Rewards feel good. Rewards encourage behavior. Hello? I have a degree in Clinical Psychology...you think I would remember the general premise of Pavlov and his dogs even it's just my overactive Id at work. Reward yourself and your good behavior and you will succeed. I am impatient and I am not competitive. Two things I think work to my disadvantage when it comes to goal setting. If I waited to reward myself until I got to the final finish line...I'd never finish. I get distracted and discouraged and honestly, I just start a new race. I find a new finish line. This leads to too many balls in the air at once and nothing ever accomplished well. And that feels gross!! Small rewards for accomplishing micro-goals keep me motivated and focused on the macro-goal.
Celebrate Small Victories.
For me, that means, buying new running shoes because I've made it to the gym for the past month.
Ordering gluten free pizza and loving every bite after a successful two weeks of intermittent fasting.
Adding fresh flowers to the grocery cart after meal planning and shopping for the week.
Making dinner reservations because all the laundry is folded and the beds are made and TGIF!
Get It Right, Right Now
"Get it right, Right Now" is actually a line from my book, and while it's really not all that original, the meaning of it between the two brothers and ultimately the entire story arc is what makes it so dear to me. I can't control much, but I can control the choices I make one by one. Maybe I didn't make the best choices yesterday, or this morning, or even 5 minutes ago. But I can choose to make the right choice right now. I don't need to get it right 100% of the time. I just need to get it right, right now.
Get It Right, Right Now.
For me, that means, ignoring the voice in my head every morning that says, "Hit snooze. You can work out extra hard tomorrow."
Choosing the healthy, green, gluten free thing to put in my mouth.
Writing, writing, writing.
Turning off the computer and putting down the phone and listening.
Staying connected to, praying for and making time to be with my girlfriends.
Supporting my Burns in the best way I know how - feeding their bodies, minds and souls.
Choosing LOVE every time.
"Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." -Lucille Ball
It's seems so simple, but it's so hard. Why is that? Why are we always our own worst critic? I can have five people at a party tell me they love my top and I still think to myself, "But I need my roots done and I don't like my butt in these jeans and I wish I had gotten a manicure before tonight." STOP THE MADDNESS!!! This might be the hardest one for me because there are no clear boxes to check or "micro-goals" to reward myself for when I get it right. But I am working on changing the voice in my head. I like myself. I REALLY DO!! So I need to start talking to myself just as I would anyone else I love. Which is to say, "You're perfect to me."
For me, that means, Grace Grace Grace.
Finding more things I do like in the mirror than I don't.
Rejoicing that I have a body and heart that allow me to be move.
Giving myself hours of un-productivity without guilt.
Making the mammogram, dentist, and ophthalmologist appts I have been putting off.
Going to bed earlier.
I am a priority and I am a better me when I believe this.
Happy New Year, Friends! It is my prayer that 2017 surprises us all and is one of our best yet. Are you in the habit of making yearly resolutions? Are you good at keeping them? How do my 5 resonate with you?