Yesterday's Motivation for Moms read "Choose your battles wisely ~ give patience where patience is due, and continually ask God for wisdom in discipline."
Like a Brick.
Oh how I needed to read that. Today of all days.
It is the end of a long week for me. More than one day has ended with me in tears. I have felt like such a failure on more than one occasion. When it's 5PM and the house is a mess, dinner is not made, the girls are bickering stir-crazy dervishes, and I'm on the couch nursing the baby for the umpteenth time and still in sweats...yes I feel like a failure. How hard can it be to get it together and manage this house, these kids, my self?
Some days it's very hard. And on these days, my patience is at it's least. And when my patience is waning - my discipline is quick, harsh and often over the top. Then I get more upset because I feel like I have failed as a Mother. This person who is yelling, impatient and exhausted is NOT the mom I want to be.
Lord do I need wisdom.
It was at the end of one of these long days however, I realized that in HIS infinite wisdom, God has given me three angles to watch over for awhile. And bless them!! For even when they drive me crazy - they ground me, love me, bring me back to the ever present minute, and make me realize that my feelings of inadequacy are often inadequate themselves.
At the end of one of my crying spells the other night, I asked Megan and Molly "Did you have a fun day today?" Assured their answer would be a resounding NO! For what had we done that day other than bounce around the house, watch TV, and get under each other's skin? To my surprise, both girls gleefully answered YES! When I laughed/sighed in disbelief and asked them what about the day had been fun, Megan told me "I got to stay home all day. I got to pick out my clothes and you didn't even make me brush my hair!"
Her silly, simple words brought me a new sense of peace. The day was not a failure. I was not a failure. The girls, were not bored nor damaged nor any worse for wear having spent the day (as I had seen it) doing nothing. Rather we were all just fine and tomorrow was ANOTHER DAY.
Another day to try again. Another day to do my best - and that would be just enough. Another day to learn a little more, be patient a little more, and trust God a little more. Another day to walk in Faith, grow in wisdom, and be thankful for my little dervishes!