Saturday, November 03, 2007

Another Day

Yesterday's Motivation for Moms read "Choose your battles wisely ~ give patience where patience is due, and continually ask God for wisdom in discipline."

Like a Brick.

Oh how I needed to read that. Today of all days.

It is the end of a long week for me. More than one day has ended with me in tears. I have felt like such a failure on more than one occasion. When it's 5PM and the house is a mess, dinner is not made, the girls are bickering stir-crazy dervishes, and I'm on the couch nursing the baby for the umpteenth time and still in sweats...yes I feel like a failure. How hard can it be to get it together and manage this house, these kids, my self?

Some days it's very hard. And on these days, my patience is at it's least. And when my patience is waning - my discipline is quick, harsh and often over the top. Then I get more upset because I feel like I have failed as a Mother. This person who is yelling, impatient and exhausted is NOT the mom I want to be.

Lord do I need wisdom.

It was at the end of one of these long days however, I realized that in HIS infinite wisdom, God has given me three angles to watch over for awhile. And bless them!! For even when they drive me crazy - they ground me, love me, bring me back to the ever present minute, and make me realize that my feelings of inadequacy are often inadequate themselves.

At the end of one of my crying spells the other night, I asked Megan and Molly "Did you have a fun day today?" Assured their answer would be a resounding NO! For what had we done that day other than bounce around the house, watch TV, and get under each other's skin? To my surprise, both girls gleefully answered YES! When I laughed/sighed in disbelief and asked them what about the day had been fun, Megan told me "I got to stay home all day. I got to pick out my clothes and you didn't even make me brush my hair!"

Her silly, simple words brought me a new sense of peace. The day was not a failure. I was not a failure. The girls, were not bored nor damaged nor any worse for wear having spent the day (as I had seen it) doing nothing. Rather we were all just fine and tomorrow was ANOTHER DAY.

Another day to try again. Another day to do my best - and that would be just enough. Another day to learn a little more, be patient a little more, and trust God a little more. Another day to walk in Faith, grow in wisdom, and be thankful for my little dervishes!


Joanna said...

That was a healthy dose of perspective, Erin, which you always seem to have. It was nice to know that even you go through tough times with the kids.

Anderson said...

OMG--if you doubt yourself as a mom WE ARE ALL in trouble!! Erin, you are the most amazing, patient, loving and FUN mom I know!! Myself included. You inspire me to be a better, more creative, more attentive mom. I know what those days are like--and although it is reasuring, on some level, to know that SUPERMOM does have her days, you are an inspiration to so many--even in sweats on the couch!! Remember: on your worst day as a mom, you are still unbelievable--and HE knows that. I love you!

LauraC said...

Wow, my first thought is - HOW can you possibly get everything done with a newborn and two other kids?! I hope you don't expect to get it all done. With a newborn!

My friend Kaylyn has twins and when I would cry and cry over my failures as a new mother, she told me that if the boys were alive and fed at the end of the day, I did my job. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Thanks for being honest. It makes all the tears I've shed seem like they are in good company.

~love said...

oh, erin! how i have lived this EXACT week, day, and moment. and in the end, came to the exact came conclusion as you.
He is so faithful to us...and loves our children infinitely times more than us (so hard to wrap my mind around!). I found that after a week like this I was just being urged to trust and rely on Him even more. My days are so much "better" when I do! =)

britty said...

i hate to read that you have been in tears and felt like a failure. to me you are anything but. i hope you keep this perspective in mind. and thanks for the inspiration!

Jenny said...

Erin, I am left in tears. Partly because I have just had the very same day (although not the first, and unfortunately not the last...), partly because I miss seeing all of you, and partly because I am moved that you have been blessed with such a fabulous group of women to do life with.

I know that I am who I am because God has blessed me with incredible women to share life with. Of course, that is just the beginning of the blessings. But having women who share in your faith and your life is a blessing like no other.

I hope that you are having a better day, trusting in God's love and Grace.

P.S. I am loving the blog. In some small way I feel like I am there with you guys. The Baptism pictures are beautiful.

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