There are some days when "IT" just gets the better of me. When the wheel I am running in starts to spin out of control. Especially this time of year. When Matt is at school and football so much. I get spoiled having him home in the Summer. And even when I know the long days are coming, having to "go it alone" more than I am used to, still shocks my system. Patience and Energy constantly allude me. I find myself resenting football for taking Matt away from us. Resenting Matt for being tired when he gets home. Resenting our busy lives for leaving less time for US. Resenting ME for not making myself more of a priority.
I am in a Covenant Group with some other women and we are currently working through a Bible study on God's plan for Marriage. The study last week was on "Serving One Another in Love" and had a question that really hit home with me:
"A husband or wife may work long hours in order to serve the family's physical and material needs. But the other spouse may view this "service" as neglecting time together. How can a husband and a wife help each other understand what communicates loving service to them?"
This really helped me put some things into perspective. My focus needs to be on God, and working to develop integrity, purity, wisdom and love in myself and my marriage. When I do this, then the petty worries and nagging seem to fade into the background. Understanding that Matt is working to provide for our family, and that is his way of "serving" me - allows me to find the strength and energy I need to "work" the long hours here at home. That is how I can serve Matt. When we both do these things with happy hearts and remember to praise and renew each other at the end of each day - then we are also serving God.
Ultimately my goal is to raise happy, healthy, upstanding citizens who contribute to this world. And at the end of it all, I still want to be best friends with my husband. Keeping my eyes on this "big picture" helps me make it through the hard days. When I stop to look at the things that consume our time - work, school, football, blogging, friends, softball, church, book club - I wonder what is most important? Reality Check - none of them! What is most important is what we are building inside our home. Our marriage and our children. These are my treasures.
Matthew 6:20-21 says "Store up your treasures in Heaven...for there your heart will be also."
I do believe I have treasures in Heaven. And I believe I've been blessed with a little bit of Heaven here on Earth. With the right perspective - The Rat Race really is worth running, worth winning even. With the right perspective, I hope to beat it altogether!