Oh, What a Night!

Saturday after the Tea Party, our celebrating switched gears. Dresses and Hats were replaced with Fishnets and Hollywood Heels. Lemonade and Tea gave way to Sophia Pop Tops and Vodka. Vibrant Hues morphed into Hot Pink and Zebra. Sandwiches and Scones became Jello Shots and Chocolate. The Mad Hatter wound up possessed by Dita Von Teese.

This is the inside of the invitation. For the outside, imagine black and white Zebra print wrapped around the below image, meeting in the middle. I punched grommets into the Zebra print and "laced" it up with black lace binding tape so that it looked like a corset. (Where did it disappear to?? I wish I could show you a pic of the real thing!)

Late afternoon, Katherine and her girlfriends joined me at the Marriott Renaissance Club Sport where we took over the third floor suite. After drinks and apps, I passed out their favors to get everyone in the "Appropriately Inappropriate" mood.

I had sewn shoe bags for each girl with their initial on the front. Inside was a pair of fishnet stockings, 6 inch heels, and a tshirt with adequate BLING.

I also put together some "just for fun" favors in little animal print, Chinese food boxes I got from Oriental Trading Co.

Inside was a "Diamond Mine" CA lottery scratcher, mini bottle of Raspberry Vodka, red wax candy lips, mini tiara, rainbow colored condom, anatomically correct male sipping straw, confetti party popper, light up bling-ring, and a mini phone book (just in case we got digits during the evening's festivities!)

After changing into our dancing attire, we headed over to OC Pole Fitness for a private Lap Dance class. It was fun, challenging, eye-opening, and at times....comical! Our instructor took her job very seriously...but she was also encouraging and understanding. There wasn't any pressure to participate in anything you weren't up for.

Everyone was a good sport and at least gave it a try. I was impressed by how many girls really got into it! There were lots of hoots and hollers for those who were able to let loose and have fun. The Bride-to-Be definitely earned an "A" for effort!

But I'd have to say R and A could, SNAP, get hired in Vegas should they ever lose their day job. (initials used to try and protect the...er...um...."innocent")

Looking around the room, I had a revelation. I finally "got" stripper heels. Add 6 inches to your legs and tell me they don't look HOT!

By the end of the class, I think everyone left having had a good time and with a few tips to take home. (Remember, Girls...use the thumbs, button only one, and gyrate while facing front only!) Best of all, Katherine has a memory she'll never forget. Being celebrated (and pushed a wee bit out of her comfort zone) by her best girlfriends.

After the Lap Dance class, we headed back to the hotel to get presentable and go to dinner. Dirty Girls clean up quite nicely when martinis, Sesame Crusted Ahi and Rib Eyes are on the menu.

Especially when enjoyed Outside & Fireside.

At dinner we presented our English major/Sex Kitten Bachelorette with "Books & Bondage." She got some really fun, thoughtful gifts. My favorite of the night was a copy of "Yes We Can" wrapped in Honeydew panties. Fit K to a T.

Runner Up: This Parody of Pat the Bunny. It's HILARIOUS! Best of all...the husband and wife in the book are named Paul and Judy. Katherine's girlfriend covered all the "Judys" in the book with "Kaths" she had printed on little slips of paper. CLASSIC.

Finally, We wouldn't want Kate's sweet Husband-to-Be to feel left out, now would we?! I'm so glad my sister has such thoughtful friends!

After dinner we returned to the suite for some old fashioned Slumber Party fun...(spiked with Vodka from a light up penis shot glass!)

And room service dessert. YUM!

SIL (sister in law) Adrie and I put together a "Panty Line" for Kate that we presented after dessert in the suite. The panties go along with a poem and represent the next 50 years of Kath's marriage. The poem went like this:

Adrie and I have a secret to share
About our little sister, the Bride.
This girl is obsessed with underwear,
And that we cannot hide!

So for our little "Panty Queen"
We gathered up some twine.
And working as a friendly team
We made a Panty Line.

Katherine these undies are to last you
All throughout your life.
And Paul will be so pleased to say
"I have a sexy wife!"

So listen up to hear about
Your lifelong panty plan.
These underwear, we have no doubt
Will last your whole life span.

The first are for your wedding day
They are of course, pure white.
We know Paul will shout, "Hot Dog!"
When he sees you on that night.

The next are for your honeymoon
They're sexy, with ruffles and lace.
We hope you'll leave your room at least once
'Cause Nicauragua is a gorgeous place!

On Valentine's you'll wear this pair
Before you hit the bed.
Cuz Cupid's arrow in the air
Shoots tushies that are Red.

After your first year has passed
You'll celebrate Anniversary number one.
With these you'll surely have a blast
'Cuz leopard's so much fun!

Then when the time is right for you
And don't be saying, "Maybe."
You'll wear your little pink or blue
In honor of your baby!

Then when your years of wedding bliss
Have become the big 2-5,
Don't worry - Just slip these on
To keep the sparks alive!

Finally when you're old and gray
With these you can't go wrong.
'Cuz sorry Kate, but at that age
You just CAN NOT wear a thong!

(adapted from Diva Girl)

We spent the remainder of the night (and wee hours of the morning) roasting Katherine with our favorite memories and stories of time spent with her. We also went around the room telling her what we like about Paul. (I knew this already...but it was still nice to hear) that ALL of Kate's girlfriends think Paul is the Cat's Meow and perfectly fit for her.

I love Paul because.... He's smart. He's handsome. (Beware of his Baby Blues) He's hardworking. He's a man's man. He can be silly. He can be somber. He carries my children on his shoulders. He tirelessly plays Duck, Duck, Goose and Hide and Seek. He orders the Motherlode at Claim Jumper and finishes it! He can discuss any sport with authority, but sets his alarm for 3AM to watch the World Cup. He holds his own amongst our large, loud family. He's handy when it's time to figure out the tip. He plans. He prepares. He isn't impulsive. He tolerates Kate's shoe fetish. He gives thoughtful gifts. He calls my Mom on her birthday...not as a part of K's call, but one made all on his own. He comes from good stock. He loves the Lord. He's competitive and wants to win. He will dance to Madonna given enough alcohol. When I visit, he sleeps on the couch so I can share the bed with my sis.

But most of all, I love Paul because he makes the woman I cherish most in this world HAPPY. He loves her, respects her, protects her, and supports her. He makes her feel beautiful, loved, cherished, and wanted. He holds her heart and has never taken that for granted. If you know my family, our love and our bond, our friendship and our loyalty....then you know how special Paul must be. The rest of us all live within a 2 mile radius of each other. Anything that can keep Katherine 1744 miles away must be GOLD. I love Paul because he is Katherine's family.

Mr. & Mrs. Suberlak, T-minus 63 days and counting. I can't wait!

PS - This is what happens when a 10 year married, 3 babes later, 'The last time I was sexy was...I forget!" woman tries to dance in 6 inch heels. (This pic is Honest to God, 5 days post injury...YUCK!)

Story about how injury happened is too good to be true. Sadly I must save it for a later date. It's presently 2:40AM and I must get to bed! Bruise is totally real and totally ugly. Just ask @jblake999. She's seen it in person.