Happy Birthday, Lava Baby

I am the oldest of four. My baby brother and I are almost 8 years apart. He has always held a special place in my heart. When we were kids, we used to play a game in my room, where we would pretend that we were stranded on an island (my bed) that was surrounded by lava (the carpet) and I had to keep him safe. He would pretend to fall into the lava and I would grab him by his chubby heels and shout, "Nooo! I will save you, my Lava Baby!" and he would giggle and giggle and giggle. 

Today is my Lava Baby's birthday. He is a whopping 31 years old and he still holds a special place in my heart. I love you, Charlie. And I will always keep you safe!

HBD to my BFF

35 Perks to Finding Your Best Friend Forever

(as told through texts and pics shared between me and mine)

1. You ALWAYS have someone to take selfies with. 

2. A Best Friend Forever is always there for you when you're feeling down.

3. You have someone to share all of life's greatest moments with.

4. Your Best Friend Forever shares your interests so you can freely do whatever you want without compromising (or apologizing!)

5. Having a Best Friend Forever means that every year, someone is extremely happy that you were born. And vice versa!

6. You don't have to look nice for your Best Friend Forever. They've seen you at your worst and still flove you more than anything. 

7. Your Best Friend Forever always guarantees you have at least one like.

8. You have someone to lay around and do nothing with (with your feet in the air!) And still have the best time of your life. 

9. A Best Friend Forever is a partner in crime. "Breakers gonna break, break, break, break...into Gates, gates, gates, gates." 

10. Your Best Friend Forever is the only person you don't have to explain your costume to. 

11. You always have someone to cheer you up...and keep you from prematurely aging! 

12. Your Best Friend Forever always knows what to get you, even without having to ask what you want. 

13. You don't even have to use words anymore, because your Best Friend Forever understands you just by looking at your face. 

14. But when you do use words, they are an intricately made up dialect of gibberish that nobody else understands.

15. Your Best Friend Forever is your automatic travel buddy. And they share your need to capture the skyline EVERYTIME you visit. 

16. You can, without fail, always make each other laugh.

17. When you have a Best Friend Forever you get to celebrate weird traditions, like Friendiversaries!

18. Your Best Friend Forever understands your Girl Crush. 

19. You always have a personal photographer on hand for those times you're fangirling so hard you can't function.

20. Your Best Friend Forever obliges you in superfluous shopping trips and doesn't even have to ask what's in your mind's eye when you stop and stare and sigh at every. single. dress.

21. Your Best Friend Forever is willing to eat with you, at ANY time. And understands that the restaurants you visit are so much more than just the food. 

22. Coincidentally - you always have an open invitation to, at ANY time, eat off each's other's plates.

23. A Best Friend Forever is someone who ALWAYS understands your literary issues with fictional characters. 

24. And your Best Friend Forever shares your need to process (at all hours of the day and night!) your thoughts and feels about plots and twists!

24. Despite how busy you two become, you and your Best Friend Forever always make the time and effort to see each other, and it's so WORTH it!

25. And you two have just as much fun staying IN as you do going OUT.

26. Speaking of which, you never have to fight over which flavor of ice cream to buy for a night in with your Best Friend Forever.

27. You always have someone who's ready to go to bat (or face punches!) for you.

28. A Best Friend Forever ignores your middle of the night, drunk, music lyric texts.

29. With a Best Friend Forever, you're finally able to fulfill that lifelong fantasy of having a twin and dressing the same. 

30. You indulge in all of your guilty pleasures together...and even occasionally suck your significant others into your uncoolness.

31. With a Best Friend Forever, you have someone who's voice is just as loud as yours at all those concerts!

32. Your Best Friend Forever hates all the same people you do, no questions asked.

33. Your Snapchats reaffirm your dual superb fashion sense.

34. A Best Friend Forever is a hand to hold for when the movie gets too scary, or the song lyrics get too sad, or the book author KILLS OFF THE HEROINE.

35. And finally...the very best perk about finding your Best Friend Forever, is that you have someone in your life that gets IT. Even when you're not sure what that means. You don't have to explain IT or worry if they'll understand IT. They just do. You have someone who makes you feel less alone in this psycho world. When you look at them, you get a burst of reassurance that you're not the only one. You might be standing on the corner of Bliss and Crazy...but your Best Friend Forever is right there with you. 

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Happy 35th Birthday, My Rachel. May we continue to burn, burn, burn for many more years to come. All the crazy flove in my heart is yours,

times 17! ~Erin

Extraordinary

“Maybe we're all like that with our mothers. They seem ordinary until one day they're extraordinary.” 
― Lisa See, Shanghai Girls

Happiest Birthday to the most extraordinary woman I know! I love you, Mom. 

A Decade

Dear MJ,

I sit down to write you your Birthday Letter, and it strikes me that you've been in my life for a DECADE. 10 Years!

Ten years ago a little lady was set into my arms and my biggest dream became a bright, beautiful, technicolor, ten fingers & ten toes reality. The memories made over this first decade all make me smile. These are just a few of them...

You are just shy of 8 pounds and nurse like a fiend. There are whole hours I spend just staring at you.

You are a month old and sleep like Princess and the Pea - atop feather pillows, in pure silence and pitch black. We silence the phones. Put blankets under your door. Watch TV using headphones at night. You have us wrapped around your finger.

You are just two months old and you let out your first belly laugh. I find it hard to think of a single other sound that makes me feel like this one. You and I take daily naps together on the couch.

You are four months old and cut four teeth in two weeks. Daddy and I get four hours of sleep in two weeks. 

You are nine months old and take your first steps. Grammie Susan buys you your first pair of shoes. You wear them to the OC Fair and tear up that place! People stop me and ask "Are you sure she should she be walking? How old is she?!" Like I could stop you.

You are almost a year when you first grace the front page of the Daily Pilot. In Daddy's arms...smiling up at him like he hung the moon. (Psssst! He totally did.)

You are 18 months old and can't live without your Pacis. Plural. You have to have two of them when you sleep. One in your mouth and one to squeeze between your tiny fingers. I find you stunning.

You are pretty silent between one and two but you sign the dictionary. Daddy and I learn all the sign language we can and love communicating with you like this. You are obsessed with belly buttons. And the skin between your toes. The very first thing you do when we introduce you to your baby sister is pull her socks off and look between her toes!

You are just over two and we are walking around Balboa Island. You grab my face, point to the sky and a whole sentence comes out of your mouth! "Momma, yook at the seagull!" Daddy and I both look at each other with wide eyes that say "You heard her SAY that too, right?!" You take my breath away.

From two to three you are obsessed with The Wiggles. And "Wow White." You finally get some hair and I put it in pigtails every chance I get. I sing show tunes and hymns and Christmas Carols when I put you to sleep. You always request 'Jingle Bells' and 'Amazing Grace.'

You are four and you become a big sister again. You are kind and helpful and have the cutest page boy haircut I've ever seen. Even if we did have to get it because the neighbor took scissors to your long locks and made me cry.

You are five. You lose your first tooth. You learn to read and write. You get your first stitches. You can cartwheel and flip around the uneven parallel bars like Mary Lou Retton. You have a crush on a boy named Cole. 

You are six. You are worried beyond belief over starting a new school. Over being in a new place with not a single friend you knew before. There are nights of tears and sleeping with me & Dad as the time approaches. The morning of your first day, you kiss me goodbye in the door of your classroom and say "Mom, I'm gonna be okay. I decided I'm just going to make one new friend everyday!" I don't doubt it. I cry again. 

You are seven. You are smart as a whip. A boy named Devon has a crush on you. He writes you love notes and sends you home with sweaty plastic bags of pennies! You and your sister are inseparable. We move to a new house. A girl from down the street rides her bike past our driveway and hollers, "Hey! I'm Karsen. Can we play?"

You are eight. You can catch a wave. You've lost almost ALL your baby teeth. You can swim a 100 meter IM and fetch things off the bottom of the pool. You paint your own nails and start keeping a diary. You start thinking outfits I suggest are lame. You whisper and giggle and stay up waaaay too late every time Karsen spends the night. 

You are nine. You are strong. You are humble. You love to run. And play volleyball. You win Top Surfer at Surf Camp. You are the first girl in the whole third grade to finish the Accelerated Math library! You snuggle your Dad every night before bed watching the NatGeo channel or The Ultimate Fighter. You still have a crush on that boy named Cole. Karsen is here so much I feel like I have three daughters. And I love it!

Here we are. You are ten! You make me laugh. You fill my heart with so much so much so much. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you. You are happy. You are loving. I call you a camel because you can drink so much water. It's your favorite. Your bedroom walls are covered in One Direction posters and peace signs. Today you drew a shamrock on your hip with a black Sharpie. (I wonder where you got that idea?!)

Yes, here we are. I can't believe all the things you have learned and the ways you have grown. I find myself feeling a little rushed. Almost like I am running out of time. Have ten years really already gone by? Do I have eight more? Nine more? Ten more? (Do you ever stop learning from your Mom?) There's still so much I want to teach you.

Just in case I don't get it all out, I've decided to write some of it down for you. (And me. I'm getting older too, ya know! I need help remembering things.) So here we go...

I want to teach you to cherish your siblings. There is nothing like a sister. Or a brother. You are blessed to have both. You already do this well. Just know the memories and the laughter and the bonds that you three share are only going to grow. Foster them.

I want to teach you to never underestimate the seductive power of an educated vocabulary. Smart is the new cool. Nerds are hot. Glasses are in. Books are your best friend. "I was like, um, totally, OMG!" does not qualify as a sentence.

I want to teach you to never wear clothes with something written across the butt. Be classy not Flashy. Crop tops and butt shorts are great for a 90 degree day at the beach. Or if you are a Dallas Cheerleader. Just not for Thanksgiving dinner or your Senior yearbook photo.

I want to teach you to be worthy rather than respectable. And wealthy rather than rich. To be more concerned about being interested than being interesting.

I want to teach you how to cook Kale. And Brussels sprouts. And that Chocolate Cake I make with the 4 sticks of butter and 2 cups of heavy cream.

I want to teach you that a woman doesn't need a man to change a tire. Or move furniture. Or read a compass. But it can be very nice when a man does.

I want to teach you not to let anyone tell you you can't do something because of your gender. Build that Lego tower. Keep acing that Math test. Kick ass on Xbox. Throw a mean spiral football. Set the curve in your Biology class. Hit a grand slam or a hole in one. Keep catching those waves! Beat those boys at their own games.

I want to teach you not to be afraid of your own voice. Listen to it. And use it! Sometimes it’s the most powerful thing you have. With it you can scream, you can sing, you can comfort, you can heal.

I want to teach you to learn to say NO. (This makes it so your YES has some oomph!)

I want to teach you about basic self defense. How to punch, get out of a situation, run as fast as you can. And use that powerful voice.

I want to teach you to think quietly. Talk gently. Act frankly. Be merciful, graceful and kind. When dealing with others and especially when dealing with yourself.

I want to teach you to love BIG. You can never be too loving. Where you invest your love, you invest your life. Love is universal. Felt by all living things. It's so powerful...it's said to make the world go round.

I want to teach you that admitting you are wrong does not make you weak. Be quick to take responsibility and learn to apologize well. There is great strength in honest vulnerability.

I want to teach you to ask for help when needed.

I want to teach you to let it go. Anger is more harmful to the person who harbors it than to who it’s directed at.

I want to teach you that what’s in the magazine is photo shopped. Confidence is more powerful and sexy than tiny jeans. It provides strength, ability and value and will enable you to pursue your biggest dreams.

I want to teach you not to be afraid of fear. Use it to motivate and challenge yourself. If you aren't scared, you aren't dreaming big enough. Don't let fear deprive you of any bit of life.

I want to teach you to laugh. You already do this well. But never stop. Laugh at yourself. At life. With others. Laughter can diffuse many a challenging situation. It's humbling and motivating. It inspires. It alleviates. It heals.

I want to teach you how to filter the voices. Not every opinion is worth listening to. Listen to the ones that matter, and learn whose opinion you’ll allow to shape your thoughts.

I want to teach you to manage your money.

I want to teach you to travel. There is so much beyond what you know. Experience new cultures, religions, people, and places. Open your heart and mind to them. I want to watch you have that "lightbulb moment."

I want to teach you that diamonds are not a girl's best friend. Best friends are invaluable. But they are work. The best kind of work. They will be with you in the good times and bad. The happy and the sad. And so you need to do the same. The rewards are immeasurable. 

I want to teach you to look for the beauty in everything. It is there.

I want to teach you how to write a proper thank you letter. How to sew on a button. How to give a firm handshake.

I want to teach you the merit in walking in someone else’s shoes.

I want to teach you that in the blink of an eye, your life will change. And it will continue to change for decades to come. Have faith. Faith will get you anywhere. Rely on it more than anything else, including yourself.

I want to teach you that no matter what age you are: You are not old, you are young. You are not a mess, you are normal. You are Extraordinary.

Finally, I want to teach you that wherever, whoever, however you go in life, I will be proud. And wherever, whoever, however you are in life, you can ALWAYS COME HOME. I will be here. With open arms, Diet Coke, and Svish! I am deeply, madly, crazy, obsessively in love with you. Unconditionally. To infinity and beyond.

Happiest of Birthdays, my first born. TEN! Two whole hands. My one whole heart. There's so much I want to teach you, but you should also know that I learn from you every day. If I am any good at all it is because of you. Because I want to give you the world and always be my best for you. I look forward many more decades of finding you stunning. Of losing my breath. Of shedding happy tears. Of smiling from ear to ear. Of having a heart full of so much so much so much.

Make those wishes. Follow those dreams. Be brave.

Love, Mom