She's a BEAUT!

Do not judge.
As Wendy would say...
"The Holy Spirit Made Me Do It!"

My Girl/Blog Friend, Wendy, is hosting a
"Dirty Mini Van"
(or any sort of Mommy vehicle)
CONTEST.

I've got it...
In.The.Bag.
(Just Sayin')

For Reals.
On the outside...my DMV is a Prom Queen.
Black.
Glossy.
Gas Guzzling, Tinted Windowed, Oversized SoCal Awesomeness.

Complete with Personalized License Plates
(I've been told it reads "Mom Loves Threesomes")
Nice, Right?
So Me.

For those of us NON dyslexic...
my intention was for it to read
"Mom Loves THREE M's"
as in
Matt
Megan
& Molly
(ordered it pre-Munchie....
but I guess he could bump Matt if you really wanted to argue the point!)

Sadly so....
On the inside,
My DMV's a trashy Vegas Showgirl.
(TRASHY being the operative word!)

disclaimer
Mateo - please forgive me.
I know sometimes you hate how "open" I am to the world wide web.
But, I've always been taught that
"Honesty Is The Best Policy,"

And HONESTLY....my car is
EM.BAR.ASSSSSS.ING!
Scary so.
So here we go!

The Passenger Seat

We've got:
my purse
one of the girls' tshirts (inside out)
a pen
someone's phone number scribbled on the back of who knows what
random receipts
a half empty can of Monster
and rotten 2% milk
(from the drive thru donut shop we haven't visited in over TWO WEEKS!)

Foot of the passenger seat

We've got:
school art projects
class picture reminder
a box of kleenex
tic tac toe games

Behind the Driver's Seat

We've got:
used kleenex
(stuffed into the back seat pocket right next to the...)
"Reproductive Photographic Encyclopedia"
(don't ask)
a raped and pillaged diaper bag
one purple velour sweatshirt
Wyatt's Nick & Nora flannel cowboy jammies

What?
You don't dress your kids on the fly?
In between Kindergarten and preschool drop off?
While they eat cereal out of ziploc baggies in the back seat?
Whatevs.
That's how I roll.

I also roll with:

A Dog leash (complete with purple carabiner) dangling from the drycleaning hook.
That's what that thing is called, right?
A "Drycleaning Hook"?
What do you call it?
Don't lie...
There is no other use for it!

Behind the passenger seat

We've got:
a Broncos blanket
more art projects
another inside out tshirt
yesterday's bagel pieces
and
3 pairs of Crocks
(cepts' there is only the right shoe in 2 of the 3 pairs)
Skip To My Lou.

So far my DMV is Scary! Right?....
At least my kids are Modelicious!
YUM.
Child Cannibalism is underrated.

Moving on....
Just for fun, I thought I 'd throw in random stuff I have no idea how to classify.
Other than:

"Sticky"

"Smelly"

"Shiny"

"Sorta looks like regurgitated rice my toddler tried to clean up with wipes...."

AND

More "Shiny Happy Sticky"

Almost done.
My second to last FAVORITE picture....
(Again....Don't Judge)

The "Trunk" 

What?
You don't drive around town with a CASE of beer next to your double stroller?
Whatevs.
I was social chair of my sorority.
It's LIKE, in my blood.
Or at least my secret handshake.
KKG.

What the HECK is the golf ball for?
I dont know.
We don't play golf.
Except for like 2 times a year.
When someone else pays the green fees.
So yeah.
Just in case.
I roll with balls.

Finally...
My ALL TIME FAVORITE PART
of my DMV....

The Bringing Up Burns "Porta Potty"

.

aka - a used McDonald's cup saved in my middle console

complete with a package of wipes.

Cause when I already have 4 out of 6 kids buckled in

but # 5 needs to pee...

Momma AIN'T gettin' everyone out to hit up the real Restroom!

Go visit Wendy's blog and try not to laugh.
Or be mortified.
Then VOTE in the DMV contest!
If there's a girl who rolls with a dirtier car than me...please vote for HER!
She DESERVES to win!

BUT...
Rubber Chickens Complete Me.

Just sayin'